True Detectives

Burning through one season of a series is something I rarely do lately but I fell back into this old, bad habit I guess. It is regrettable. 

During the intake of my old drug of choice, I found a really awesome, dark, and disturbing crime series, called True Detective. It has been recommended by some clamouring fans, but the decision to watch it just came recently. And how I do not regret it!

It opens with a very striking image of a very pagan corpse. Red hair, pale skin, and antlers. It gave me shivers and creeps and I felt a mixture of awe and fear every time my mind conjured that image. She felt so ancient, powerful, earthy - yet vulnerable and impotent in her immobility and death.

You should not watch this before any interview or social event. It makes you... gloomy. Dizzy. Feverish. Well, lesson learned for me at least.

Yea

It tells us about a seemingly occult case in Louisiana. A pair of detectives, Marty Hart and Rustin Cohle were tasked to solve it. They stumbled onto many obstacles during and after the solving of the case. And it does not help that both of those men apparently did not show any interest to learn about each other. They finally did, as time went by, but it is more like the details revealed themselves because situation called, not because each actively tried to learn about each other.

Rustin clicked more with Maggie, Marty's wife, than Marty did with him. Marty's jealousy further made the situation uncomfortable. Rustin held himself aloof - because he's an unhappy man. It is understandable. Matthew McConaughey gives a very admirable performance as Rustin Cohle. He successfully portrays him as an unhappy man who has conscience, deeply philosophic, self-check every time, and seeks redemption. His life is a long balancing act. He struggles, always, always. I find that I sympathise strongly with him - heck, I might even have fallen in love a bit with him. Were I to meet him I will give him my bear hug - all the strength and warmth I can give, I will give to him, for he has a very heavy cross to bear.

I find I dislike Marty Hart so much. He is a damned hypocrite, misogynist, and chronic adulterer. He had committed awful deeds - one of them won the prize - yet he can still sleep like a baby at nights. I am not too surprised at the direction the story went after the occult-murder case of Dora Lange was solved.

The thing is, to tell you the truth, I am pissed. It is a sin committed by two - why should only one of them bear the cross? Only one of them felt really guilty. The other seemed to have no conscience at all. It embittered me so much. And when Rustin committed a mistake - a mistake which was a result from domino effect from Marty's own fault - it was Marty who hit him not the other way around! 

What an egoistic prick!

True Detective is highly recommended for you who enjoy weird cases, heavy, dark psychological crime drama. I used to think it is impossible to build an entertaining full season based just one unsolved case - but turns out it is possible. ナイス。
The ending showed a disturbing and nauseous sex scene. Okay. Now I remember it again. I need to bleach my eyes. Eurrrghhhh. 
I am looking forward to season two. Because this is an anthology-style series, we will meet a different detective duo.They say it'll have Rachel McAdams in it and I CANNOT SIMPLY WAIT IN SILENCE. 

このTV series はとても凄い。ちょっと暗くって、みんなさん見て下さい！

じゃ、次の書き込みであう！ 

Sources:
http://media.giphy.com/media/lsQimiMkjsIPC/giphy.gif
http://cdn1.relevantmediagroup.com/sites/default/files/field/thumbnail/True-Detective-103.jpg
http://i.lv3.hbo.com/assets/images/series/true-detective/character/1/martin-hart-1024.jpg 

Sympathy for Lady Vengeance

Happy Easter, everybody! Or if you are not celebrating Easter and happen to be in Kawasaki area, Happy Dick Day (or so my friend told me).

Proof. She said it is her fav pic.

Anyway. I had time and was in the appropriate mood for watching Park Chan Wook's movie. I've been meaning to watch either Oldboy or Sympathy for Lady Vengeance. I am more interested to watch the latter, though, because I had watched some part of Oldboy in Metro TV about 4 years ago and searched the synopsis afterwards and IT GROSSED ME OUT.

Meanwhile, Lady Vengeance's storyline certainly holds far more appeal for me. It tells us a story about Geum Ja, a lady hell-bent on avenging the unfair sentence she received. I just realized how beautiful Lee Young Ae actually is here XD. She transformed so much from the role that brought her worldwide fame as Dae Jang Geum, the healer...

to...

Oh my goodness.

So awesomely kicking-ass!

Watching Lady Vengeance makes me admiring the cinematography style of Chan Wook. The fade to black-and-white really works well. He successfully makes the atmosphere beautifully dark and masterfully utilizes the combination between bright and dark. I love the way he told the story about Geum Ja's involvement with other inmates. And his pacing is exceedingly good.
So many gems in this movie. The opening, for example.

Hehe. I fully realize that I might be nasty.

Sorry sorry sorry but I JUST CANNOT STAND HIS HAIRCUT. And this expression doesn't help, either. 

The only thing I feel is EXACTLY the opposite of sympathy.

The part where Geum Ja nonchalantly, angelically, immorally squirted bleach into a prison bully's food, is delicious to watch.  

Pure gold!

And it helps that the movie has a boy toy that is very easy on the eyes...

YUMMY BOY TOY YUMMY BOY TOY YUMMY BOY TOY (slaps self hard to stop)

I've only watched another one of his movie, Stoker. It has Nicole Kidman and Mia Wasikowska, among others.

I think Chan Wook has some interest and fascination with Australia, because the couple who adopted Geum Ja's daughter (Jenny) are from Australia and Stoker is set in Australia. It has the same style as Lady Vengeance, for my amateur eyes, but somehow... it... does... not... work. I don't know what to blame. Perhaps, a storyline that works for Korean (or Asian) characters doesn't work for Australians (Caucasians). I am pretty sure that's the cause.
For example, the part where Jenny's adoptive parents and Geum Ja got insanely drunk in the daylight... just feels plain impossible...

Lady Vengeance earns 10 stars because it kicks ass, is not too far-fetched, and does not gross me out.

Sources:
Personal documentation of Ruth F.
Various internet links 
Personal captures from the movie, but I hereby that I have exactly zero rights to them 

Here Is a Letter

Here is a letter I dare not send, nor show to the intended recipient.

How has life treated you, so far? It must have been kind to you. I hope so. You are a very spirited guy - I wish there would be nothing happen that can break that spirit.

I shall write the trivials that had happened, happened, is happening, is going to happen in mine. I feel that you are not interested in discussing serious stuff, but. I. Cannot. Think. Of. Anything. Else. 

I was sad, and am still. Once you are changed, it is often irrevocable and irreversible. Things that could make you happy in the past are no longer effective for they have been trumped by other things. The change of situation had been too rapid and things had been complicated, difficult, and spirit-breaking since. I lost income and freedom and comfort - the reduction in situation had been too sudden. 

I am lucky to have friends that are supportive and willing to comfort me. I owe them a lot. And I am forever thankful that I learned to swim. It has been exhilarating when I discover that I was still able to float and move in the water. I did not sink, even once. I did not choke. Truly, it is a comfort knowing that I am still skilled in that thing.

I will try to further my education abroad. Once you tasted freedom and comfort, you will yearn more for it. I do, at least. 

The scariest thing is how different the me here and the me there. I hate the me here. I love the me there. And it makes me extremely exasperated and afraid - how if I am stuck as the me here? God, I do need the chance. Please give me.

And last thing last...

I had missed, am missing, miss you terribly. I am still reeling from it. Is it a stupid thing to never let go and always remember? But I think I do not care if people say it is stupid, because it is my call, and I am the one who is responsible for it. It affects my daily life, true, but not that severe. I am the functional cripple.

I hold you dear, in my heart. I feel very affectionate towards you. I cherish you, treasure you as something precious. That's what I always feel when I see you - a very precious bronze-haired boy. 

But do not be afraid that I will chase you shamelessly and senselessly. I shall not cling like kudzu, I swear. I wouldn't be a suffocating presence. I will hate myself should I ever transform to be someone like that! 

But I will not let go, because I am unable and unwilling to.

On the other hand, if space and distance are the things you want, so be it. Although it is difficult. But I reflect, and I realize that it must be uncomfortable and awkward to you, sometimes.

I am looking forward to meeting you again in person.

Happy Easter.

Faithfully yours,

D.S.

Tread Carefully, or You Will End Up Like the Lady Caroline

Aha. This post shall be brief and unoriginal. But it will not be 詰まらない、I promise. How can I, a girl who had been forced herself to stomach a really boring book inflict the same kind of unpleasantness to select number of people who are willing to read her blog entries?

Nah.

So, any of you know this gentleman?

Yep. Lord Byron. He is indeed handsome, dashing, a poet and noble to boot, insane to some degree - clearly, a man to be pursued by all means in your disposal.

Oh, and he also fathered her.

A refreshing reminder that a scientist can dress prettily and heavily-laden with lace, if one wants to.

Ada Lovelace, a woman who helped Babbage constructed the first computer. Her surname reflected her taste in clothes... a bit... I think.

But be very careful. Shameless and unrelenting pursue sometimes end badly. VERY BADLY. The following paragraphs are copied and pasted directly from this Wikipedia page.

From March to August 1812, Lady Caroline embarked on a well-publicized affair with Lord Byron. He was 24 and she 26. She had spurned the attention of the poet on their first meeting, subsequently giving Byron what became his lasting epitaph when she described him as "mad, bad, and dangerous to know." Lady Caroline Lamb claimed she coined the phrase after her first meeting with the poet at a society event in 1812, and this was later reported by her friend, Lady Morgan (in her Memoirs), although as Paul Douglass notes in his biography, there is no contemporary evidence to prove Lady Caroline actually created the famous phrase at the time. Byron's response to her enticements (she wrote him a fan letter), was to visit her because of her high social status as a niece of the Duchess of Devonshire, and then to pursue her passionately.

Lady Caroline and Lord Byron publicly decried each other as they privately pledged their love over the following months. Byron referred to Lamb by the hypocorism "Caro", which she adopted as her public nickname. After Byron broke things off, her husband took the disgraced and desolate Lady Caroline to Ireland. The distance did not cool Lady Caroline's interest in the poet; she and Byron corresponded constantly during her exile.When Lady Caroline returned to London in 1813; however, Byron made it clear he had no intention of restarting their relationship. This spurred increasingly public attempts to reunite with her former lover. Matters came to a head at Lady Heathcote's ball in early July 1813, when Byron publicly insulted Lady Caroline, who responded by breaking a wine glass and trying to slash her wrists. She did not seriously injure herself, and it is most unlikely that she had any suicidal intentions; but polite society was scandalised, and her mental stability was called into question. Byron himself referred to it as a theatrical performance : "Lady Caroline performed the dagger scene".

Lady Caroline's obsession with Byron would define much of her later life, as well as influence both her and Byron's works. They would write poems in the style of each other, about each other, and even embed overt messages to one another in their verse. After a thwarted visit to Byron's home, Lady Caroline wrote "Remember Me!" into the flyleaf of one of Byron's books. He responded with the hate poem; "Remember thee! Remember thee!; Till Lethe quench life's burning stream; Remorse and shame shall cling to thee, And haunt thee like a feverish dream! Remember thee! Ay, doubt it not. Thy husband too shall think of thee! By neither shalt thou be forgot, Thou false to him, thou fiend to me!"

Her cousin Harriet (by then Lady Granville), with whom Lady Caroline's relationship had deteriorated after childhood, visited her in December 1816 and was so incredulous at her unrepentant behaviour that she ended her description of the visit in a letter to her sister with: "I mean my visits to be annual."

Poor, poor lady. What a great fall. How fondness can transform into disgust, contempt, and disdain. I shudder at that. Really.

And that is why one has to tread real carefully.

The Innocence of Father Brown by G.K. Chesterton

I am struggling to fight the drowsiness during finishing this book. And lost the battles numerous times.

Most-often-shown expression during reading this book

This has nothing to do with the insane heat and humidity. This has to do with the intrinsic boredom of this book! This is a collection of short cases, thankfully - it will certainly be a more hellish reading experience were it a novel relating a lengthy story, Christie-style, because nothing short than a delicious promise of bribe can keep my eyes wide open during reading this! 

The detective in question is a Roman Catholic priest named Father Brown, and he has a sidekick - a French called Flambeau. Brown is a nondescript, dull-looking character; while Flambeau is an ex-Robin Hood-esque thief. These characterization have so much potential to be interesting and great, but... I don't know. Something in Chesterton's narrative is so heavily laden with laudanum that drugs its reader to blessed unconsciousness every pages or so. Goodness gracious.

And to make it worse, it is annotated. The annotation is only useful to most devoted fans of Chesterton. For the casual reader of detective stories, they are just annoyances.

Dean is annoyed. ディアも。Annoyed.

Sometimes the languages are too... flowery. I don't know, but those combinations of words just don't work for me. 

The annotator is CLEARLY a Chesterton sympathist. Well, duh, else, why on earth would he annotate the stories with those such boring facts? He had the gall of admitting that Chesterton's stories are sometimes 'improbable' and said that it's not a bad thing and to make his case he dared using Chandler as an example. One of the reason he said Chandler is not being realistic is that 'I recalled an interview with professional LA police official who said he never heard a private detective called a shamus, in California or anywhere else'.

Isn't one source too narrow a sample? Bosh.

Four stars for making me spend some hours in my life reading the most boring book in existence. I am thankful I made a correct choice, reading The Innocence of Father Brown first before a Peter Wimsey book I found in my uni library.

Wimseeeeeeeey! squeeee!

Image sources:

http://images.sodahead.com/polls/001005013/4391862018_015a0d5f08_xlarge.jpeg

http://img4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20131009001234/degrassi/images/a/a9/Dean-is-annoyed.gif

http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/sailormoon/images/3/30/Squee.gif/revision/latest?cb=20140821235454

Dune by Frank Herbert

I stumbled upon Dune completely by accident. A beautiful occasion, worthy of celebration. For some time, I was interested in stars until I almost enrolled to Astronomy. I was always tried - only tried, mind you - to memorize the name of the constellations and the stars that form them. I didn't succeed very well, though. But I can only remember the names, I cannot actually point to the sky and say, there, there the Ursa Major lies or something like that. My love to memorize those names is an extension of my fascination to mythologies. Some constellations are named with the characters from Greek mythology. For example, Cassiopeia and Andromeda. And then, I kept digging and found that the stars that form those constellations are named equally beautifully. To name few, Benetnash (the bleary-eyed one), Mekbuda, Diphda (the meaning, unfortunately, is not so pretty), and Arrakis. Arrakis is my personal favorite. I like it so much I named my Gardevoir Arrakis.

She is worthy of the name Arrakis!

And during Arrakis-Googling, I stumbled upon a Wikipedia page about Arrakis that is a fictional planet in Dune universe. I was like, "Oh, yeah, interesting" that time and filed it away for future use. Then, I got and started reading the first book in Dune series, titled Dune.

And holyshititisawesome!

Dune is an enthralling blend of science and the occult. The most impressive example of that is Bene Gesserit, a pseudo-religious order of women who have lots of magnificent and useful skills, such as modulating their tone to control others, regulate their metabolism, decide the sex of their children and whether they are conceive or not conceive - awesome! And the best skill of all - ability to detox any toxin that enters their bodies. CRAZY. They achieve those skills by disciplined hard training. The Bene Gesserit even planted seeds of pseudo-religion, a strategy they call as Missionaria Protectiva, to ensure that any Bene Gesserit can survive in even the most hostile of environment by exploiting the mythology and superstition planted there. It also has a record of their secret breeding program - something that every single Bene Gesserit invests their body and mind in. The series adaptations so far don't give the Bene Gesserit justice.

The David Lynch adaptation...

Sorry, but the Bene Gesserits are supposed to be educated and highly skilled courtesans! I am pretty sure that the target scope for bald, creepy-looking women in black is... quite... narrow. Ahem. And the TV series is equally awful as well...

OH MY GOD. The hat.

One glance at the parabola-like hat is enough to send anyone scurrying away, I guess. 

The best way to clothe the Bene Gesserits are, well... clothe them real glamorously, gorgeously, goddess-like! 

OK. Back to the track.

Herbert tried to make a believable theory of the melange (geriatric spice) production. He introduced a new life form, the most disgusting and terrifying creature ever that is possible to exist.

*traumatized for life

GOD. So... loathsome. So... bizarre. Yet, this creature holds a huge role in Dune universe. Herbert created a life cycle that is a bit messy for Dune sandworm (sometimes known as Shaitan, Maker, Shai-hulud). It, admittedly, makes sense and works well.

We have touched the nature aspect of Dune, and a bit of socio-political and religious aspect in the Bene Gesserit section. We shall delve further into the socio-politic and religion bit. 

It never ceases to wonder and confuse me that the movies set in the future mostly feature monarchy government system. In Star Wars, we have Emperor Palpatine. In Dune, we have the Padishah Emperor of the Golden Lion Throne. Padishah sounds badass, Golden Lion Throne? Kicking ass. I thought we view monarchy as lesser system than democracy, yet apparently we will institute it in the future. I wonder why. 

The oddest aspect in Dune is that no old religion left over. None. The existing ones are syncretic religion, such as Zensunni. One of the holy books is Orange Catholic Bible, the other one Book of Azhar. Herbert took a bit from every religion and incorporate them in his story. He borrowed very heavily from Islam. Examples? Book of Azhar, Shaitan, and Jihad. From Buddhism, he used the wise sayings and principles, while from Catholicism he borrowed and applied the structure of holy order to Bene Gesserit. He used some Jewish-sounding words as well, one of the example is Kwisatz Haderach. 

Herbert painted a cynical picture about messianism. He pointed out in Dune that a messiah can be prepared and messianism can be manipulated. 

...
A not so calming picture.

Luckily, Paul Atreides, the male protagonist of Dune, is capable to fulfill all the messianic checkpoints pretty well, thanks to rigorous Bene Gesserit training he had received since his childhood, the fighting and fencing training, and the story spread by the Missionaria Protectiva. Herbert tells us that a messiah can happen without any godly interference. A correct person in a correct place in a correct time can be a messiah, a savior. A concept that is a bit, well, worrying. 

Overall, Dune is a magnificent book with fine storytelling and meticulously constructed world. And I think the adaptation by David Lynch is a must watch since it has...

The creepiest kid. Ever. Yet she is soooo cute!

Meet St. Alia of the Knife, Paul Atreides' sister. Her birth is predicted accurately by Paul, her conception was out of love of Lady Jessica, their mother to her husband, Duke Leto Atreides. She has the MOST BADASS name. Separately, St. as a title is nice and comforting since it promises a place in heaven, while Alia is a beautiful name, and knife is, well... useful, tops. Combined? Total, pure badassery.

And it also has...

*choke on Coca Cola

How often can you see Sting in loincloth? 

じゃ、I really like Dune. Seven stars for it. Dune has many quote-worthy sentences, such as the Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear. 

"I must not fear.

Fear is the mind-killer.

Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.

I will face my fear.

I will permit it to pass over me and through me.

And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.

Where the fear has gone there will be nothing....only I will remain"

And some conversations are not meant to interpret just the way it is, a good example is when Paul is tested by Reverend Mother Gaius Helen Mohiam. I highly recommend Dune for sci-fi lover or anybody who likes reading a bit complicated story.

Source of pictures:

• http://i1232.photobucket.com/albums/ff362/TheScoreBlogger/PDVD_405.jpg
• http://i.ytimg.com/vi/iqPAEGdVESw/maxresdefault.jpg 

Arok Dedes by Pramoedya Ananta Toer

I don't know why but I love books with historical settings - Indonesian history is no exception as long as the author is capable of captivating me with his/ her way of storytelling. I don't care whether it is detective, romance, or political novel, as long as it is interesting. And the characters from Hindu-Buddha period have such beautiful Sanskrit names. Mahendradatta, Airlangga, Tribhuwana Tunggadewi, Pramodhawardhani, Jayakatwang, Dandang Gendis...

Arok Dedes tells us about the coup d'etat of Tumapel - a fief of Hindu kingdom of Kediri/ Kadiri - which started the beginning of Kediri coup d'etat. The caste division in Toer's recreation of Kediri is, ordered from the lowest, pariah - sudra - ksatria - brahmin. The waisya caste was abolished by King Erlangga some 200 years before the events in the novel. King Erlangga, who worshiped Vishnu, did many things that caused discontent and angered the brahmins, who mostly worshiped Shiva and Parvati, his wife. The novel opened with a strong event. Tunggul Ametung, the akuwu (vassal) of Tumapel, kidnapped and force married and then raped Dedes, daughter of Mpu Parwa, a brahmin who worshiped Shiva. Tunggul Ametung was a sudra, the second lowest caste, whereas Dedes was a brahmin, the highest caste. The kidnapping of Dedes - a maiden with goddess-like features - was an event that triggered a multitude of events, which resulted on the fall of Tunggul Ametung and the installation of Arok as the rightful new ruler.

Toer recreated the 1220 AD Hindu-Buddha kingdom so well it is so believable. Conflicts based on religious reasons were as rampant as nowadays, as well as corrupt officials and oily politicians. Many compared the events in Arok Dedes with the real coup d'etat of Sukarno, the first president of Indonesia, dictator and Proclamator of Independence, but I honestly cannot see that much similarities. You can say that Arok is Suharto's equivalent, whereas the Indonesian Communist Party (PKI) can be equated with Kebo Ijo's/ Mpu Gandring's Movement. The sleight of hand, throwing all the blame on a not-so-innocent-but-much-stupider-side can be considered as a similarity. But equating Ametung with Sukarno is stretching a bit too far... The similarities of the Indonesian 1965 coup and the Tumapel 1220 coup stops here. 

I cannot say I like the way Dedes depicted here. She is sometimes smart and brave enough to undertake vital tasks (tricking Kebo Ijo, drugging Ametung) but sometimes she is so naive I almost laugh in disbelief. One of the example of her naivete is believing that Arok-Lohgawe's conspiration was truly to replace Vishnu with Shiva as the main god to worship. Which of course, was never their intention from the very beginning.

 

Dedes. Darling.

Her beauty saved her ass so many times it's hard to count. Ametung was smitten, Kebo Ijo was willing to sacrifice Tumapel as long as he can have Dedes, and Arok fell in love as well. Even Helen of Troy doesn't have that many admirers. And the next kings of Javanese kingdoms can trace their lineage back to Dedes. The kings of Singasari (the new kingdom Arok erected after vanquished Kediri) were Dedes-Ametung descendants, while the kings of Majapahit were Dedes-Arok's. The Greeks have a woman with face that can launch a thousand ships; we have a woman whose descendants built two different kingdoms. 

She is truly a lucky woman.

Toer is proven an admirable author, for he composed a story so rich in details and captivating in mere three months (1st October - 24 December 1976) during his exile in Buru. He combined the words beautifully, made them convey the meaning and nuances gorgeously and unerringly. Few authors can combine proper, beautiful Indonesian words without making the result feels cheap, fake, and too sappy (cough, Andrei Aksana, cough). So far, the most skilful wordsmiths I have encountered beside Toer are Remy Sylado (I REALLY WANT a copy of Ca Bau Kan, by the way) and Sapardi Djoko Damono. Arok Dedes is definitely a must read and must have because reading it once is not enough. This is my second reading, my first was five years ago.  
And folks, the closing is awesome for Indonesian novel. Pretty hardcore. 

Hint, hint.

Arok Dedes is a novel that proves that you can read a novel with good quality with enjoyment and no boredom.

We Are Responsible for Fame

I feel so guilty.

I have been unwell (not physically, it's mental thingy; you know, the blues) for these few days - no, weeks, and so I decided to feed my mind with information with equal quality and digestive ease as regurgitation birds feed to their chicks.

Approximately

I didn't want to think. Honey. I didn't even want to wake up. I sort of hoped that day would go as it went and something amazing happened. I don't know why. Blues do those stuff to you, I guess. 

Well, even Blair Waldorf can feel that.

So, in order to wake up, in order not to succumb to lethargy and the feeling of preferring immobility, I decided to do menial activities. Because anything is better than just lay down and slept and being totally useless instead of partially useless. 

I browsed countless gossip sites about Kardashian Klan and their antics. Do you know that Kimmy just dyed her hair platinum blonde? Do you know that Bruce Jenner just decided to undergo sex change and he involved in a horrific car crash? And do you know that I feel a kind of elation and self-satisfaction seeing that the Blogger auto correct doesn't recognize the word 'Kardashian'? Sorry if that makes me a racist or Armenian pogrom supporter for you - I am not, I assure you. Being a part of minority groups - both ethnic and religious - is an all-too familiar sensation for me, so I am not either or both of them.

If you don't know those facts about the Kardashians (and the Jenners) please give you a mental congratulatory pat. It is okay if you like reading gossip. I do not judge you. But it is not okay if you are that updated. 

Well-updated (about these stuff) is good, too-updated, on the other hand...

Ah. And another site where I decided to spend my time browsing is Ask.fm. I don't know the function that its founder had in mind when they made it, because it seemed... pointless. It is basically a medium where you can ask someone that has account and that person shall answer you. It evolves into something where you can ask the silliest question and answer it in the most pointless way possible. The profile shows the number of the followers the profile owner has, the question he/ she has been asked so far, and the gift he/she has received. And me being me, I followed some accounts I deemed really funny. 

Then realization dawned. 

Because Dean Winchester is smoking hot. Admit it.

The primary and sole deciding factor in, primarily, social media fame is following. It's always about how many likes, how many shares, and how many followers. You get my meaning. Jotting down these stuff makes me feel stupid because it damned obvious. Those numbers are the accumulation of individuals deciding to like, share, or follow an entity. We are responsible, wholly, fully, in deciding who will become somebody or anybody or nobody. Yet, we sometimes don't realize that we have that responsibility and our influence is that big. Because, once someone becomes famous enough, he/ she will become role model OR gets invited to all sort of events which are willing to shell out insane amount of money just for few minutes of interview and stuff.

And here we are, wondering why wealth is not distributed evenly or effective vaccinations against flu have yet to be discovered. Darling. All those money are accumulated by some select personas we all choose consciously to propel into fame - or some, infamy - and spent for expensive and beautiful glittering or silky soft stuff. I am envious to those who are privileged, to be frank. Who is not? 

But let's focus. Sometimes, we whine about the stupid celebrities who keep appearing in television, stupid TV shows, and stupid magazines, stupid stuff. Have we asked to ourselves, why do they keep appearing? Why? In some parts, we are responsible! We enjoy them! We consume them in mindless frenzy! And the industry, they recognize market niche when they see it. Who can blame them if they supply the populace with stuff that sell well and fast? 

And thus, our mindset and the generations after us, will be formed by such material - a thought that makes me shudder. 

The more foolish thing is the tendency to elect the so-called celebrities into governmental office. It's one thing to elect an ex-actress with 10 years of political experience in her pocket to be a people representative, and it's another thing to elect a still active singer or actor or actress with virtually 0 year of any political experience to be, say, vice governor or people representative!

*sneeze*

I am banging my head against the wall in frustration because, seriously, people? マジデ？Do you want to further fuck up this already fucked-up country? This case reminds me to the detective novels I've read which are set in ancient Romans. They are either the Roma Sub Rosa series or the Lindsey Davis ones - my money is on the first. It is mentioned that people started to elect actors in important political posts. And the result was not so good because they are good entertainers but not good politicians. It happened freaking thousands years ago and yet people still haven't learned!

And with this, I end my ramblings. I fully realize that this composition is not really that good nor it is coherent. 

But pffft.

In the end, it is you who decide whether to read something or not.

Good night.

I dedicate this post to someone far away who has a delicate niche carved somewhere in me. 

Bewitched by Brilliance of Capote

When is the professional aspect of life ended and the personal one started? Sometimes they can be so intimately tangled and messily knotted. Sometimes, the line that separates them is blurry or worse, non-existent.

That is the message I think Capote conveys. Capote is based on more or less true story, set during the period Truman Capote did his research for his revolutionary novel that propelled him to a higher level of fame, In Cold Blood. It is dubbed as 'the first real crime novel.' Capote alone wouldn't be able to approach many different types of people - his spectrum is quite narrow, actually. Judging from his way of talking and the preferred content of his conversations, that doesn't come as a surprise. For his aid, his longtime friend, Nelle Harper Lee, came to his side. 

They tried to get as much information as subtly as they can. They played nice, tried to befriend the townspeople whom just got the biggest shock of their lives - senseless massacre of the Clutters. They socialized with the investigators, visited the house of one of the investigators - all while trying to get worthwhile data for novel material. 

Weeks flew by without any decent improvement.

Then, a break came. Two young men were caught for trying to cash bad cheques.

Meet Perry and Dick. Capote's relationship with the former will be further explored in this movie - in fact, it is the dominating theme. Capote heavily explores the relationship between the writer and his inner circle of people - which evolves during the movie. In the beginning, his inner circle are Harper Lee, his editor, and his lover, Jack Dunphy. As his research went, it slowly expanded to include Perry. Capote heavily identified himself with Perry - as he said in the movie

It's as if Perry and I grew up in the same house. And one day he stood up and went out the back door, while I went out the front. - Truman Capote - Capote

The two convicts cannot be more different. Dick showed more acceptance to his fate - it's "pasrah" in Bahasa Indonesia, "しょがない” in Japanese - everything is, in the end, decided by God/ fate. It doesn't mean that he didn't try to save his neck - he tried. But he simply showed less emotion, less melancholism than Perry.

Perry, on the other hand, refused to eat at all when he was caught. Only because of Capote's direct intervention then he was willing to eat. 

Then he shone.

He showed his intelligence - something surprising for a half-Indian for that time - by recognizing and incorporating difficult words in his conversations and correspondence. Then he and Capote started to befriend each other. He showed his trust and gave a lot of information to Truman, and in turn, Capote gave both Perry and Dick books and legal aid. For some time, this arrangement worked well. And the time spent was enough to make the friendship evolved into something else deeper and more meaningful.

It was enough to make Dunphy give an ultimatum - go to Spain, write with me, or else. Capote obeyed. During their stay in Spain, he didn't reply any of Perry's letter. While I understand his reason, I am still furious, because their relationship was skewed from the beginning. It was already unbalanced, and it makes me immensely sad. Capote frequently lied to Perry - from haven't started his novel at all, haven't titled it (in reality? gruesomely titled In Cold Blood). And Perry, in contrast to the horrific crime he was a part of, was extremely innocent and trusting it was difficult to bear! He actually believed and hoped that Capote will write a novel that put him and Dick in better light, which of course he didn't do. Surprising, surprising.

Towards the end, came a huge shock. Dick and Perry will be hung. Their appeal was rejected. Capote was clearly torn. He was in difficult position. Perry hadn't told him about what actually transpired on that night. But, Perry obviously had something bigger, more important in his mind. His nearing death sentence - a date with the gallows. 

A friend will console. A friend will not act cold and ask you to tell the details of your crime for his book. Guess which path Capote took? It broke my heart seeing Perry's expression as the words came out from Capote's mouth. Capote betrayed Perry severely, awfully. Unforgivably. 

Then Perry told him. And in yet another heart-breakingly scene, he said

He was just looking at me. Looking into my eyes. Like he expected me to kill him. Like he expected me to be the kind of person who would kill him. I was thinking, this nice man is scared of me. I was so ashamed. I mean, I thought he was a ... very nice...gentle man. And I thought so right up till I slit his throat. ... I didn't know what I did till I heard the sound. (refers to Herb Clutter)

He is a so fucked-up boy that, given chance, can be a productive member of community. But he never got any. And on the day of their execution, Perry sent Capote a telegram, asking him to come. Capote, unable to bear the emotional pressure, refused to open any correspondence from Perry. Only the combined persistence of Harper Lee and his editor succeeded in making him read the telegram, dragging him out of bed, stopping him from drinking, and coming. 

Perry told him that he is afraid because it will feel lonely and he wants Capote to present as moral support. Capote refused because he knew that the emotional pressure is too huge to handle. Perry died believing he was alone all along, while in reality, Capote came when he was about to hung.

People can infer so many underlying themes from this movie, I think. But for me, the most attractive and distinguished aspect is the blurred line between a source and a friend. When does your colleague stop being a mere work colleague and become a friend? What kind of lines should you draw? do you have to pay attention, really befriend your co-workers? 

The second theme I get is a view of a relationship where you know, at some point, you will be separated from the other. In Capote and Perry's case, the separation is permanent, inexorable, and gradually becomes imminent. Both of them knew. But they chose to enjoy each other's company. They let their feelings to each other grow. It made the separation unbearable, but on the other hand, there was a time when they were truly happy. And it is a beautiful thing.

In Memoriam Sir Terry Pratchett

So, the generations that have been touched by Discworld are in mourning now.
A news about one of the most prolific fantasy writer's death just broke.
Farewell, Sir Terry Pratchett.

You have shown an admirable tenacity and - may I say - stubbornness by keep producing brilliant works in spite of your Alzheimer disease. I've just read some of your books. They are amazing. Touching. They have a big role in forming my character and lifting my spirit when I was down... So many advice hidden in your books. 

I like the cranky Granny Weatherwax. She is one of my personal heroines. I remember her moments of strength and weaknesses all too well. When she persisted in fighting against the Fairy Queen... When she was feeling too weak... When she was training the young witch from Chalk... And so many, so many episodes that leave a strong impression for a young girl.

My favourite Esme Weatherwax quote is

"There's no grays, only white that's got grubby. I'm surprised you don't know that. And sin, young man, is when you treat people like things. Including yourself. That's what sin is." - Carpe Jugulum

And I am also a big fan of Adora Belle Dearheart. Don't let this sweet-sounding name fool you. 

She is dangerous enough.

She is a brave woman that can hold herself up.She is not afraid of investigating her brother's death teaming with a well-known con-man and succeeded in not getting fleeced or any. Kudos for Adora. And she steadily gets more position. Head of a clanks company, activist of gargoyle rights... you name it. 

I find myself enjoy books that have Tiffany Aching quite immensely. As an aspiring young witch, she is willing to work hard. I was a bit disappointed when she didn't end up with the baron's son, but in the end she gets a better bargain, in my opinion. 

And reading books about Death is never boring. From the stern, completely inhuman and incapable of sympathy and empathy (first Rincewind books), he is slowly transformed to someone who is willing to find an apprentice (Mort), a father, and a grandfather. He is shown to be a character who tries to understand humanity but is unable to fully grasp it. From his house which is just plain wrong ("It's bigger inside than the outside."), the color scheme (B&W), to the appliances and accessories in the house (the soap that doesn't bubble, doorknobs that don't work). He has a cute side though - whoever had heard of Death who rides a  white, shining stallion named Binky??? Binky. His vulnerable side is also shown in Reaper Man. He is often used as a vessel to tell important messages in books. The thing is... he is a compassionate psychopomp. When I meet my end, I would like him to be my psychopomp or my psychopomp to be like him, either way is fine. 

I adore Sam Vimes as well. He has ghosts and vices, and he is in constant struggle to live a balanced life and being a good man. In some ways, I can identify him as me. 

I cannot say any good things about Rincewind, though. Sorry, Sir Terry. Amongst your creations, he is the only one I cannot abide AT ALL.

Your books have helped forming me into today's me. I cannot say that today's me is a fine, fine creature, but I think today's me will be a worse creature without those books. And it helps my English a lot as well. Looking forward for another Discworld book, or actually, any new book by you, has been another motivation for me to rise everyday and do my stuff.

I think, it is time to end this narrative. I am running out of narrativium already.

Farewell again, Sir Terry Pratchett. Goodbye.

I hope if you get any psychopomp, then it is the one whom you have told us about in your books. I shall miss your works dearly. But as I have said, in memoriam. You shall be in my memory, ever. That, I can promise.

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The Poisoner's Handbook by Deborah Blum

Sometimes, on very rare occasions, you stumble upon things that seem like to be specifically tailored for you. Clothes. A boy. Books. I will talk about the last.

Source: Goodreads

The Poisoner's Handbook is a collection of poisoning cases, both intentional and unintentional ones. The author categorizes the case based on the poison involved. For each poison, there are several cases presented and usually there is one case elaborated among them. That case is usually a major one, meaning that in the day it happened, it became headline in virtually every media, was discussed in daily basis, and always in people's head. The beauty of Ms. Blum's narrative is that she succeeds in telling three stories in one shot. First, the case, from almost every aspect (the poison and the human factor). Secondly, the poison involved - the general information, physicochemical characteristics, and mode of action. Thirdly, the development of forensics and the rise of career (with all the obstacles and difficulties in the way) of two brilliant scientists at that time - Charles Norris and Alexander Gettler. 

AW. Norris is the one with beard. Gettler is the dude fiddling with chemical instrument.

I keep mentioning 'that day', 'that time'. Exactly when? That's the extra beauty of this book. They all happened during the Jazz Age - the crazy period when everyone seemed to be experimenting with everything. Also quite a period for the teetotalers and non-teetotalers, because alcohol is prohibited, hence the term Prohibition. It seemed to be an interesting time to live... With all the speakeasies, flapper attire and attitude, art deco, and jazz. Oh. My.

This book inspires me to take Toxicology class - a decision I am thankful for making :D You do not need to be an expert in chemistry or biology to enjoy and understand this book, although having some knowledge helps enhancing the enjoyment of this book. If you like any of these things: Jazz Age, poisons, historical stuff, forensic stuff - I can say with total conviction that this book is for you. Ms. Blum composes a very good book - both structurally and content-wise, so I think this book can be suitable for everyone. Ten stars for The Poisoner's Handbook!   
PS: My favourite poison will be the stealthy carbon monoxide. It is undetected during its action (at least in that period) and the only trace it leaves is the characteristic cherry-red shaded blood of its victim. LOVELY.

My Ultimate Femme Fatale

That woman.

Every Sherlock fan must know to whom those two words refer to. A seemingly rather harmless opera singer, the only problem she poses is the possession of some incriminating photos of her and some particular prince. It is quite surprising that she manages to outwit Sherlock so smoothly. She only plays an important role once in one story, but then she gets so many admirers and practically gets elevated to an enviable position for any female fictional characters.

From a merely resourceful and clever beautiful opera singer, she is translated into a sly spy and almost perfect woman endowed with beauty, sharp wit, and seductive charm. She almost always becomes Holmes' romantic interest. Well, if there is a woman capable to be Holmes' equal, it's definitely her.

I like her immensely because she has proven that she is capable of having confrontation with Holmes. She is neither afraid of his reputation as a great detective nor gets cocky. Instead, she tries her best to gain an upper hand and manages to do so. 

Two most notable portrayals of that woman in the pop culture are... 

I like both, but my favourite is Rachel McAdams' version. She captures the essence of that woman very well. She is the perfect living, walking, and breathing Technicolor replica of that woman. 

Who is your favourite femme fatale? 

Top Ten Christie Novels According to Me

As I have mentioned before, Agatha Christie's books are the gateway books to the wonderful world where every crimes are done in the most ingenious ways and solved in the most elegant, extravagant manners. From all her novels, I hereby present you with a list containing ten I love the most. The order doesn't need to reflect the level of favouritism. Short stories collections are considered as novels as well. Beware. Spoiler ahoy!

1. Crooked House

This is the first Christie book I read. I found it in my aunt's book shelf when I was eight or nine years old - hardly an appropriate age to digest any of her writings. I left it unfinished out of sheer boredom. When I was more mature, about fifteen years old, I reread it again and thoroughly enjoyed it. The storyline is very unique. A lot of poisons - my weapon of choice were I need to take another human being's life - are mentioned. It is hard to believe that a girl that young is capable of planning and doing crimes so atrocious. Crooked House is a perfectly dark novel set in location where Christie is a specialist - a big family living in idyllic British village.

2. Towards Zero

Towards Zero opens with two disturbing scenes, seemingly unrelated at all. A murderer plans his move and a man attempts to commit suicide. Christie managed to weave an intriguing story based on a premise that she had exercised before, namely that if every evidence points to someone since the very beginning, that someone cannot be the guilty party - he/ she must have been framed by the real culprit. The main attraction of Towards Zero is that the planned murder doesn't happen, after all. This book features Superintendent Battle as the investigator.

I have watched the screen adaptation and it firmly established Saffron Burrows as one of my favourite actress. It is a pity they ruin it by changing the investigator to Miss Marple instead.

 She is so pretty! In my personal opinion, she is the perfect Audrey Strange.

3. Death Comes at the End

Technically, this is the first historical crime I have ever read, although I didn't know that time because I hadn't known that such a genre exist. The ancient Egypt setting feels so realistic and accurate. The heroine was irritating at first because she seems so weak and trusty and pacifist, but later I realized that it might be caused by her grief of losing her husband just before the events in Death Comes at the End began. Her character development is one of the strong points of this novel. Another strong point is the realistic depiction of household bickering and almost life-like characterization of every family members (excluding the kids) of Imhotep's household. I personally like the sharp-tongued, clever old lady Esa. The ending is quite sappy, but well, it is to be expected from Christie. It is a good ending, though.

4. Ten Little Indians

The definition of awesome detective story is Ten Little Indians! I mean, who would expect that? I was completely in the dark all the time. The trick Christie employed here is classy and doesn't feel like a cheap deception - unlike Roger Ackroyd. She depicts the increasing tension in the isolated island perfectly. How the remaining people were suspicious of each other and paranoid all of the time. And in the end, I totally understand, relate, and sympathise with the Avillain, that misguided vigilante. 

5. Murder on the Nile

One of Christie novels (another example is Murder on the Orient) in which I ship so hard for the villains not to get unmasked. It is a great pity that Poirot decided to reveal the truth after all in the end... If I were in the same position as Jacqueline and to have the same characteristics as her, I would have definitely chosen the same steps, I think. Linnet Ridgeway gets zero of my sympathy because I find that she is an obnoxious rich girl whom I will gladly slap. She deserves her fate. 

I hate her.

6. The Mysterious Mr. Quin

... I forget to include him on the list of my favourite sleuth... Well, there is not enough space, after all. Mr. Quin's cases are mostly bizarre, supernatural, and out of logical realm. He usually appears with Mr. Satterthwaite, an old endearing snob. Mr. Quin evokes my romantic side, I guess.

7. The Thirteen Problems

A short story collection featuring Miss Marple. This book feels so homey and old-timey... And as usual, Miss Marple kicks ass although from outside she looks just like a very boring, ordinary old spinster with a penchant for knitting and gossiping. 

8. Nemesis

But let justice roll on like a river, righteousness like a never-failing stream!

Amos 5:24

This is a quote from Bible which is quoted by a dead man in his letter to Miss Marple. And this quote is damned awesome. Nemesis, naturally, refers to her role in this book as the one who addresses the awful, awful miscarriage of justice. The crime in Nemesis saddened me deeply because of oh so much wasted potential of the lives of several people. Those wasted years, all caused by an egoistic act of a person. The years that can be spent for marrying, having and raising children together, laughing, bickering, crying - living. I really loathe the villain and think that the culprit has it really easy in the end. 

9. The Hollow

The motive behind the murder is plain creepy. And Christie uses her old trick again, the same one she uses in #2. I adore the Angkatells and their antics. I am quite okay with the additional love story in this book. Overall, the case is so-so, but the reading experience of The Hollow had been nice. 

And I like the Indonesian old version of the cover!

10. Murder on the Orient Express

It is an awesome murder the villains manage to concoct, orchestrate, and execute. Given the same numbers of personnel, resource, and circumstances, I highly doubt some people I know would be able to create a simple gathering or something, let alone a complicated murder. I absolutely agree with Poirot's and other people's acts and decision in this book. The man sure had it coming. If it makes me morally defect, so be it.

So, these are ten Agatha Christie's works I like the most. What are yours?